The Tumaz Bible

Writings from the Tumaz Ancients

IN this Book is written all of the writings of the Ancients of Tumaz. This Book recalls the creation of the Land of Tumaz, and all of the events associated with it. Read the Book daily and you shall know the progress of Tumaz. Read it either cronologically or skip to a section:

AS the great Land of Tumaz progresses, check back here to find out how progress is going.

"AND the goddess Kchatspa looked out among the lands falling within her control, and She picked out a humble Programmer sitting upon a hill. She called this Programmer Joshua and she called the hill East. And the great goddess Kchatspa said unto the Humble Programmer, 'I am Kchatspa, goddess of Tumaz. If you heed my words then you shall be ever famous and always happy.' And the Humble Programmer swore to assist the goddess in whichever way She so choose. And so the great goddess Kchatspa commanded to the Humble Programmer, 'That land known as Pomerantz on the Hill East shall be your home, and it shall be Good.' And thus the Humble Programmer made his home on the 5th level of Pomerantz, and it was good.

"AND the goddess Kchatspa said unto the Humble Programmer, 'Joshua, now that you have established your residence in the Great Land of Pomerantz, are you ready to assist me in whichever way I so choose?' And the Humble Programmer said unto the Great Goddess, 'Please, tell me what it is you need, and I will try to the best of my ability to fulfill your desires, for remember that I am just a Humble Programmer...' And Kchatspa the Compassionate Deity responded, 'Do not worry, Humble Programmer. All I need from you is the Land of Tumaz, expressed in whatever code you see fit.' And the Humble Programmer became excited, for he knew the Black Arts of coding, and he began at once on the Great Land of Tumaz. And all was good.

"AND the goddess Kchatspa said unto the Humble Programmer, 'And so you shall infest the entire 5th floor of Pomerantz with the Great Symbol.' And so it was done. Every applicable doorpost was henceforth marked with the Great Symbol of Tumaz, and those doorposts without the sacred Marking Boards were left unmarked. And thus all was good."

"AND the goddess Kchatspa descended to the residence of the Humble Programmer who was called Joshua, and she said unto him, 'Joshua, let me see how work on the magnificent Land of Tumaz is progressing.' And Joshua happily obliged. Kchatspa was greatly dismayed to find the lack of people in the land. 'Joshua, you must create splendid bodies for the awesome inhabitants of the Great Land of Tumaz,' She commanded. And the Humble Programmer replied, 'But I am just a Humble Programmer, I can not create these bodies...' And the All Knowing Goddess commanded unto the Humble programmer, 'Then you must Quest for a Mighty Graphics Artist, one who is capable of drawing the Awesome Sprites.' And so Joshua began his quest for the Mighty Graphics Artist.

"AND on one day the Humble Programmer was working and he realized that he shalt draw the players in their proper order, and that he shalt Invalidate the Rectangle of drawing area. And so the players were drawn in the correct order, and the Rectangles were correctly Invalidated, and it was very good. There was must feasting and rejoicing, in which they consumed much food.

"AND the humble programmer decided to represent, to the best of his humble ability, the language of Tumaz. And thus he created the font
'Tumazian', and it was good.

"THEN the Mighty Goddess came down to the humble programer and she said, 'Joshua, how is it that you are creating a world that can be entered by only half of the population?'. The humble programmer gazed up at the Goddess, quite confused. He hath not realized the folly of his ways. 'What would you have me do, o Kchatspa?' He asked. 'You must allow those on the Windows platform to access the world of Tumaz.' The programmer begged Kchatspa, 'O Goddess, I do not know how to help these poor souls.' The Goddess smiled, and in her infinite wisdom, explained, 'Then seek the wisdom of a Toad.'

"DAUNTED by the commandments of the mighty Goddess, the humble programer set right to work. He happened to know such a Toad, and that Toad was very helpful. Said the Toad to the humble programmer, 'I shall give you a gift, such that you can write one piece of graphical Code and have it compile on any of three of the Mighty Platforms. Note that there exists a magical charm known as the SDL. Seek this SDL and you shall be happy.' Thus the humble programmer followed the words of Kchatspa and the Toad, and he began work on the SDL version of Tumaz.

"SDL posed many problems for the humble programmer. It required him to move the Holy Images of Tumaz to Separate Files and out of the sacred Macintosh Resource Fork. Thus, the humble programmer conceived an idea: he shalt invent Bundles, by which he could Bind the Holy Graphics and Sacred Files of Tumaz into one file. Thus Joshua started on the Bundles of Tumaz.

"AND then the humble programmer augmented his knowledge of the world, and he devised a system to create the mighty Tumaz Listserv. And all was well.

"THEN the lands were rocked with celebration as the humble programmer completed the SDL calls, and the Bundles. Finally the great program of Tumaz would run on either Macintosh OR PC. There was much feasting and the future looked bright. However the colors needed to be thusly modified by the programmer, and he knew that.

"AND the great goddess Kchatspa came to the humble programmer, and she said unto him, "Joshua! The people of Tumaz have not bodies! I demand that you find a Holy Graphics Designer at ONCE!" And Joshua bowed before here and set out on his quest. It was on that day that the humble programer Joshua met the Noble Graphics Artist Andrew, and having found Andrew, the entire world rejoiced with much feasting. Thus the Noble Graphics Artist began drawing at once, in order to comply with the wishes of the Goddess.

"THEN the Mighty Goddess descended to the realm of the humble programmer, followed by a red-haired diety. 'Joshua!' the Goddess screamed, 'What is going on? Why is work not progressing on my Great Land of Tumaz?!?' The humble programmer looked unto the Goddess with the utmost respect and he replied unto her, 'Kchatspa, for I am but a lowly programmer... and I have been trying to stay alive, questing for Grades and for Myself. And where am I without my Goddess to command me? Whereith have you resided during the past months?' And the Goddess looked at her red-haired compainion and replied with sorrow, 'You are absolutly correct, humble Joshua. I was too busy begetting firecrotch here... And I have not been here to Guide you. I am here now..."

"THOSE mighty words from the Great Goddess filled Joshua with a sense of courage, and he set forth and created the Magnificent and Glorious Object Class. having bestowethed all of his blessings on this Class, Joshua preyed to the Goddess and started on creating Objects.

The holy bible of Tumaz is accurate as of Sat, Feb 28, 2004 11:51:31 am EST (-0500)